THE CARD

Green Since 1801 - Crane & Co. -- I had to order out some calling cards today. Our business regulatory requirements are getting so out of whack that I can't even use the conventional broker/dealer-approved cards that also say where it is I actually operate. As an industry, we got Spitzerized a few years ago, and the bureaucratic tightening just hasn't let up yet. Hence, my need for an alternative card, something simple, touting a local and personal presence.

In my search for something traditional and tasteful on which to put forth my name and local contact information, I figured I would save some time and opt for doing business with the most established stationer, which in my world of Platonic or iconic forms is Crane's, back in Massachusetts.

Imagine my surprise when I found they had been "green" from the get-go, since their beginnings in 1801. Aside from the embedded elegance, the cachet to be conveyed, the emphasis on green production is probably one reason why every card is going to cost 84 cents, before tax and shipping. I do know, though, that I will be making a number of statements on multiple levels with the stationery, and I'll treat each card as something valuable--something I don't think I've ever really done in the past.

Perhaps I'll ration them, requesting a pedigree or a resume before bestowing THE CARD (the "green" card) on a lucky recipient. I think it would be tacky to go so far as to make anybody beg, so I'll have to achieve the proper balance in my dispensing mien.

The other 2,000 cards, the ones that came from Dupli last month at a cost between 2 and 3 cents apiece, may very well get launched off the top of the Terminal Tower. Waste not, want not. Or perhaps we could engage the Lesic agency to rent another airplane, and do the littering for me.